Help, please - napping nightmare & just switched to FFing Qs

Pelusa214

Anything anyone can suggest for either of these issues would be greatly appreciated.  I'm losing my mind.  Like, completely paralyzed in my own house, wanna get the heck outta here losing my mind. 

We are having major issues around here.  DD is almost 10 weeks, and I stopped EBFing 2 weeks ago because DD was having an allergic reaction (green poop, blood in her poop, nasty diaper rash that wouldn't go away) to something I was eating AFTER I was DF for over a month.  GI had us try Neocate for a week but it didn't improve her disposition, so we are doing Alimentum now.  She is also on Prevacid for reflux, and the spitting up/coughing/hiccups have been getting worse since we started bottle-feeding. 

Our issue is that the baby is sooooo cranky all the time.  She cries for hours every day.  The pedi & the GI both say that we're doing everything we can for her, and that she is just a cranky baby.  I'm dying.  I'm trying so hard to stay positive, telling myself that I know it will get better, and being thankful for 2 healthy children, but I'm wearing REALLY thin.  I have read (well, more like strategically skimmed due to lack of time & sleep) No Cry Sleep Solution, Baby Whisperer, HSHHC, and HBOTB.  Nothing seems to help.  My 2 main issues are:

A)Naps: I have never seen a child fight sleep the way this one does.  She literally starts to cry when I get to the top of the stairs (our bedrooms are upstairs).  The napping has been getting worse & worse until now we are at the point of either being awake ALL day long (like 12 hours straight), or 10-30 minute catnaps here & there throughout the day.  It's not like I'm complaining because I have no time to do chores....if she was happy, I'd just say she wasn't a good napper.  But she's crying for hours every day.  She's happy for maybe 1/2 hour after she wakes in the morning, and maybe 10 minutes max after each catnap.  Then the fussing & crying starts.  We finally started napping her in the swing, and now even in the swing she won't stay asleep more than 20 minutes.  She sleeps in a bassinet in our room at night, but I want to transition her to the crib, so I've been trying to get her to nap there.  Today I started trying a "routine" - after 90 minutes awake time, bring her to the room (this is where the screaming starts), turn on the Magical Seahorse, put her in a sleep sack, close the shades, talk to her quietly, then lights out & paci in.  At this point she's hysterical, and won't keep the paci in (she isn't a fan of it, anyway).  I hold the seahorse on her belly & cradle her & walk with her & bounce her & hold the paci in while shushing.  After 5-8 minutes, she'll stop screaming & I stop shushing.  I slowly stop 1 thing at a time (seahorse goes off, stop bouncing, stop walking) & when the seahorse stops, I sing a song 3x.  I put her in the crib (eyes closed, mostly asleep) & sing 2 more times.  I also have white noise going.  She's finally asleep, but only stays asleep 30 mins max, then is up crying.  I try to let her fuss to see if she'll go back to sleep, but her eyes are wide open & she just gets more & more upset.  At that point, there's no calming her & after 20 minutes of trying to get her back to sleep, I give up.

I think she's so cranky because she's tired all the time.  I try & catch her sleep "window", but she goes from smiling to crying SO fast she doesn't really show tired signs.  Nighttime is better, but it takes 1-2 hours to get her to sleep.  Once asleep, she has been going about 5 hours before the first wake-up.  She eats, goes back to sleep pretty easily, but 1.5-2 hours later is up again.  She can barely stay awake but won't go back to sleep.  All I can get her to drink is like 1.5 ounces & then she spends the next 3 hours half-asleep, fussing & letting out a cry every 5 minutes or so & falling back asleep.  I have NO idea what to do.  We don't swaddle really....well, we were swaddling arms-out because our hospital told us they don't recommend arms-in anymore due to the baby not being able to self-soothe with their hands.  They didn't even put her arms in at the hospital.  And at almost 10 weeks, I don't see the point in starting to arms-in swaddle now anyway.  The arms-out swaddle doesn't seem to help, which is why we're trying the sleep sack.  My poor 3 year old has been in front of the tv half the day by herself while I try & get this baby back to sleep as she's screaming.  It's no better if I just let her stay awake, as she cries most of the time anyway because she's so tired.

Feeding: We went through almost 10 different bottles before we found one that she didn't refuse/choke on/just play with the nipple.  We use Drop-ins with the latex nipple.  I don't know if it's a protest against not breastfeeding anymore, if she hates the taste of the formula, if she's just a snacker....but if I try & feed her any time before she's screaming bloody murder for food, she'll only take like 2 ounces.  Then, an hour later she wants to eat again.  Or it'll take her an hour to drink 3-4 oz.  And we're using the fast nipple.  And this & the sleep is intertwined, because at bedtime, she's often so exhausted that she can't stay awake for a full bottle.  Then, 10 minutes after I put her down, she's awake again, drinks 1/2 oz, falls asleep, repeat, repeat, repeat.  This happens in the middle of the night, too.  I don't know if it's because we just switched over & she hasn't gotten efficient, but an hour to finish each bottle and feeding 8-9 times in a 24 hour period - this isn't normal, right?  The pedi says she's supposed to be taking about 32 oz a day.  We're struggling for about 27 oz.  I really don't know how this FFing thing is supposed to go, and if we're just behind the 8-ball because we only just started, or what.