Women 20+ weeks - weight and personal issue

yourmom5309

I am sure I am going to get flamed, but I?d rather post than continue to deal with this internally.  I started this pregnancy around 15 lbs overweight.  This is my third baby under three.  This baby was a welcomed surprise, but needless to say I never got back into the shape I wanted.  With DD1 I gained 35 lbs, with DD2 I gained 8 lbs - yes 8, and so far with DS I have gained 3lbs.  No I am not complaining about three pounds.  Rather my issue is with my unhealthy obsession with the scale.  I have always had body image and weight issues.  Sadly, the scale often determines my mood.  I completely understand that this is unhealthy.  I guess I am upset with myself, because as a mother of two I know I will gain weight and I know the scale will go up.  However, I am having a harder time with this issue during this pregnancy than ever before.  I try to take comfort in the fact that I am eating healthy, so the weight is what baby needs and not oreos.  However, I am still having a lot of internal struggles.  I have debated getting rid of the scale, but I am a control freak and I panic - worrying about being shocked at the doctor's because I had not weighed myself in over a month.  Ideally, I would like to turn my back when weighing, but that is just not me.  Can anyone recommend a good book on this topic or similar related issues?