WWYD "Grandma"

venussapphire

Background: My "mother" and I hate even calling her that, has been out of my life for 10 years. I have no desire to ever see her and she will never know my children. DH's mom is not well. She had menagistis (sp) 5 years ago followed by numersous strokes have left her unable to take care of herself. She is really like a child that needs 24 hour supervision. I feel like my children are going to be jilted in the "grandma department."

My dad started dating an amazing woman last year. She's a coworker of mine and I've known her for 3 years. A friend asked her if she was excited to be a grandma (meaning about my baby). I go back and forth about whether or not she should be labeled as "grandma" to my kids.

On one hand, she will be very involved with the baby and is wonderful. I really hope she stays with my dad because they are really good for each other.

On the other hand, they have only been together a year, a year and half when the baby comes.

Should she be given the grandma label or not? DH is against it. He says not unless they get married. Which I dont see happening.My dad has had two horrible marriages and she has never been married. My dad made it clear there wont be a third marriage.

I keep going back and forth. What would you do?