I need advice, opinions... HELP!!

kelliannep89

I am sorry this is sooo long!

My mom moved to California at the end of October. It was a HUGE move for her since she was moving from Boston. Now, my mom did this move in a responsible manner. She didn't just drop everything and up and leave. She planned this for over a year and waited until she had enough money (my Great-Aunt left all her nieces and nephews quite a lot of money. It had to be split into two payments) to do so comfortably. She was under the impression she would have a job lined up for her when she got there as well. 

My husband and I paid for her things to be shipped out there because she had planned to put this on a credit card, and I was not comfortable with that. We told her she could pay us back when the second check from the estate came in. She has never been in a situation where she did not have to live paycheck to paycheck, and I did not want things to be that way again. I was very supportive about her move to California for many reasons. She has family out there, while she has nothing left for her in Boston. 

Well, the job that was lined up for her did not work out. The position she had interviewed for had been filled even after being promised to my mom. She has literally applied to hundreds of jobs and still has not found anything. She has been on countless interviews, but still nothing. My mother is running out of money and she has had to borrow more money from my husband and I. I do not mind this. I am lucky enough to be able to spare money to help her and it makes me feel good that I can do this. My mom does not see it that way however. 

So, the second part to the estate check is coming in, and I am just worried that with all the bills she is behind on, the money she feels obligated to pay back to people right away, and simple living expenses, she will just fall into the same rut again.

 My husband and I talked about it and we came up with a plan:

I told her that the money she gets from the estate should go into a bank and earn interest. She can come live with my husband and I in Georgia. We will pay for the move and put her stuff in storage. We are a military family, so we move every 3 to 4 years, but I think this would be enough time for my mom to really dig her feet into the ground. I also would love the help around the house and with the baby. We would ask that she get a job (my husband could get her a civilian job on base easily) and keep saving. And by the time we need to move again, if she feels like moving back to CA is a good idea, then we will get her back there.

She is hesitant. She keeps saying, "I am the mom. I am suppose to take care of you". But, she can't right now, and I am able to take care of her. My husband has no qualms about her living with us, but my mom is afraid she would be intruding. Her family is CA also thinks it's a bad idea, but they really are not doing anything to help my mom survive. I just want my mom to be happy and healthy. Am I being pushy by telling her she should come live with me?

Talking to her stresses me out because she is so depressed and worried. Everyday that I call her, she says the same thing. "No one is hiring. This was a mistake. I'm so dumb." It makes me feel terrible. I just don't know what to do and I feel like it would be more cost effective for her and us if she just lived with us.