Going to FREAK OUT on my mother

crh1221

I LOVE my mom, do not get me wrong. This is a vent, so I apologize in advance if this is not what you like to read.

My boyfriend and I were not planning on a child this early, or had even considered it. We are both fairly young, had not been living together, and we were definitely not trying for a baby. We moved in together a few weeks before my due date into my mother's house. We don't want to rent, and are saving for a house as his mother is planning on helping us buy in the next year. As far as being parents goes, it could not be any better. It was rough in the beginning, but he is getting to be a SUPER help and we are learning more and more everyday. We are head over heals in love with our daughter and I do not regret our "oops" moment at all!

Now, my mother is beginning to drive me up a wall. I know she thinks she knows best. She is a primary caregiver in an infant room at a daycare, and obviously I am still alive and well. In the past week or so she keeps pushing me to give my daughter bottles of BM. She has been doing great EBF until a few days ago and has started getting pretty fussy. I've done my research and found that it's normal and to push on BFing. As much evidence I present to my mother she keeps pushing me just pump and give her a bottle! I've tried it for one day now and it literally makes me sad to give her one. I miss BFing sooo bad and have ultimately decided to push through her fussiness and feed feed feed.

She also criticizes me every time I put her down, or is crying in her bouncy seat for more than half a minute. Sorry I have to have 2 hands to make myself lunch, or to throw a load of laundry in. She will be fine strapped into her seat for a few minutes. She is not going to die if she fusses because she wants to be held while I'm within view and have to tend to my own needs. I don't let her cry incessantly, I soothe her as soon as I can. But while I throw food in the microwave and she is in the living room, (ALL CONNECTED ROOMS) she will be OKAY! 

In the beginning, after I told her I wasn't going to use bumper pads or have anything other than a sheet in her crib she said to me, "Oh, you're going to be one of THOSE moms?" REALLY!? Sorry I want to prevent SIDS by any means possible. I also get notes left for me everyday asking me to do dishes, or take out the trash or, pick up the living room, or do silly things like upload pictures onto facebook for her while she's at work. That's all fine and dandy, I have no issues with helping out while I am home. But I get busy with a newborn and I am exhausted, and there is someone depending on me for everything and sometimes I get sidetracked and don't get things done 100% by the time she gets home. Then I get reamed for it. 

Annoyed. Cannot wait to move out. She can come visit then, but not force me to parent how she wants.