baby blues and supply tanking

CamJack mom

I am going to have to get myself out of the house. I am going crazy and finding myself emotional over everything. I am nervous about next week because after having DH and the kids at home for 3 weeks, they will be back off to work and school and I will be home alone. I feel ridiculous for being nervous since this is my 3rd and I was home alone much sooner with the older 2. I don't know what is going on, but my poor hormones are all over the place. To top it off my supply is tanking. I've been able to pump 6-8 oz every 3 hours or so since my milk came in over a week ago. I have a decent freezer stash and all has been well. Well on Tuesday, my nipps were sore so I was pumping more than bfing because L does not have a good latch and it hurts. Yesterday I got lazy and I realized at some point that I was only pumping every 4-5 hours (longer once) and my supply was dropping. I am now only pumping 4 oz or so every 3 hours. Then L decided last night that she doesn't want to boob anymore. She wouldn't latch, and it was taking longer for the milk to start flowing so she just refused to nurse. I can't believe how hurt I was. I've always said that I would bf for as long as it was working and convenient, but I was fine with formula since both of my boys were on formula within the first few weeks and it was no biggie. Well last night I found myself crying when she wouldn't latch. I am torn. I know I could just EP if she continues to refuse, but I just feel so out of wack. Every time I pump, I start crying for no reason. My hormones are just controlling every bit of me and I really don't know what to do. I refuse to stay in this house any longer, I am getting out today. I will wrap L up and put her in her stroller while closed in, but I need to breathe before I find myself with full blown PPD. I am so not used to this.