Having another boy...and I was wrong...I am upset!

cs1007

I feel like a total fraud/jerk...Just days ago I posted about how all I wanted was a healthy baby and that I did not care what the gender was. I really had no preference or feeling one way or another, and I already have a DS, so I never thought it would bother me to find out I was having another. Well we found out today we are having another boy...and everything was fine until tonight...

All of a sudden as I was giving my son a bath, I started thinking about how I was/am going to be 'alone' when they growup and have wives of their own and I lost it. I literally started crying once DS went to bed and continued to sob for over an hour. I can't help but think about how I will never have that close mother-daughter bond. Let's face it...most guys don't want to hang out with their mother and talk about girls and drink wine. I feel like my husband is going to have 'buddies' to watch sports with and hang with and that I will be alone.

I feel awful and guilty for feeling this way. I love DS more than anything, and I know I will love DS#2 so much too...I just feel a sense of loss or something. Please don't flame me, I am just being honest.