Tense family relationships and sharing the news

PregNerd

There is a bit of a back story here, but the essence of it is my parents are divorced (for over 14years) and both are remarried. I have always had a strained relationship with my father, and it all fell apart over 3 years ago. I told him he couldn't pick and choose when he wanted to be a parent - it was all or nothing with me. And he choose nothing.

That part I'm totally cool with - I don't miss him at all. The hard part is I love my father's parents. When my father and I had the falling out, I lost my relationship with my grandparents as well. I only recently got it back, and I cannot tell you how much I missed them.

I am worried about telling them. I think they will be happy about the baby - that's not what I'm worried about. I'm worried that they will try and force my father and I together, or that I will loose them again if I refuse to reach out to him. I don't want him to be a part of my life, or my child's. He doesn't deserve it. And quite frankly, it took a fair amount of therapy to be okay with how things stand now.

I am worried that they will say he has a 'right' to see 'his' grandchild and that things will deteriorate from there. If this baby every meets my father - he will be introduced as "Rob" not as 'Grandpa" or any other familial term. The tricky thing is I don't want to loose my grandparents again. It hurt soo much not having them in my life..

Do you ladies have any advice for how to handle this?