Terminating Parental Rights...

Annya26

I will try to keep this as short as possible!

I'm expecting my first child in just a couple of weeks and could really use the advice of some people who have already been down similar roads.

My ex and I were on and off, still great friends and then I got pregnant. I have always wanted kids, he has a child from a previous relationship and was a little traumatized and doesn't want any more. Since I got pregnant he has pretty much disappeared, offered no support financially, mentally, emotionally, etc. Luckily I have a wonderful family who are all incredibly supportive and we are all very excited about the baby regardless of how it happened and the less than desirable circumstances.

Recently I told him he was out of time (I could technically go at any time) and needed to make a decision about how he wanted to move forward. We discussed a variety of options but in the end it came down to him terminating his rights to the child. I gain sole custody, give up child support and he walks away. He maintains that he would like to visit the child (which I don't really get) but that remains to be seen. The reason I want sole custody is not so I can keep him away, but so that I can make sure my child's interests are always the main priority. I have recently discovered that there is a good chance that the person I thought was wonderful is actually an incredibly manipulative liar and while I am not a revengeful type person, it does concern me that if he can't be trusted my son is going to get hurt and let down. 

I do not believe in forcing a man to be a father. I feel that all this does is create a rather poor example of a father and man, and a lot of drama. He already has a child and I know that he knows what it means to be a father and the love you have for a child, so I think that he is aware of what he is giving up and if that is the case then so be it. 

So, trying to keep this short - having been through the different scenarios that you have all been through, if your child's father had asked to terminate their rights at birth, would have have encouraged/allowed it? Do you feel that this is something that would allow you to reduce the drama in you and your childs' life, or is there an angle that I am missing?

Going to speak with legal advisors tomorrow but would love the perspective of those who have been down similar roads. 

TIA