weight gain after weight loss

egsulaiman

Hi everyone, I'm a bit quiet on these forums.. but I'm ... not worried.. but more aggravated I guess about whats going on with my body. 

 

I was on weight watchers before I got pregnant. And I was about to lose 30lbs! I was so excited and very proud of myself for accomplishing such a huge loss! I was able to go from a size 20 to a 14 (even skinny jeans!). And I get it, I know weight gain is completely normal during pregnancy, and I know that I have the tools to get back on track when I have my little nugget. But this morning I got on the scale, and I have gained 11 pounds and I am only 15 weeks. I'm eating decently well, not as well as when I was on weight watchers ofcourse. I eat 3 medium sized meals a day, as well as snacking in between. I limit the amount of sweets ,although my sister just sent me German chocolate! eek!, I am not sitting there splurging on it. I stopped drinking diet soda, I only drink Arizona tea and LOTS of water through out the day. 

 I think the biggest "pitfall" for me has been that I was alot more active when I was on weight watchers. But I was on weight watchers during the spring/summer months when I was able to go out and walk for 2 miles, I was able to spend all day outside on the weekends and "play" around. Now its winter, I live up north, and its very cold, very dark by the time I get off of work. 

I feel like i'm the only person who has gained this much weight during my first trimester and now the beginning of my 2nd trimester. I feel like such a bad mommy already for not being more strict about my weight gain and about stay more active in the winter months. but I really have no idea what I can do when its freezing outside, and its pitch black dark by the time I get home. I live in a decently well neighborhood, but I dont feel comfortable enough to walk outside in the dark. I dont have a dog that I can take with me. I'm lost. I feel like I'm going to end up gaining so much weigh that I'll be at higher risk for high blood pressure, diabetes... its very scary. I work for maternal fetal medicine and I've seen some crazy things happen everyday.. and I'm mad at myself for getting to this point already. I hear people say "oh i've gained 5lbs... " and I'm like.. omg... I've gained so much more!

 

I keep telling myself that I was on a very strict diet/exercise regime before all this happened. And that my body is engulfing the food I am eating now because it was someone deprived before?? Does that make sense? I mean I was on a less than 1200 calorie a day diet, and loosing 1-2 lbs a week with exercise.  There are alot of things I'm eating now that I would not have even thought of twice of eating before I was pregnant. BUT the things I was eating during weight watchers, some of them I'm not supposed to eat now. Like deli meat, fake sugar, diet soda, sushi, some fish.. many low calorie, or diet foods have chemicals in them that my doctor told me I should try to stay away from. they dont have the nutrients that I need during this pregnancy. I just feel so lost in this body that seems to be taking over. 

I also keep telling myself that it is the holidays, I've been very busy with going to christmas parties and having quick dinners with friends and family and that it all adds up. And I remember when I was on WW that sodium has a HUGE impact on my weight gain while I was loosing. So I feel as though me going out so much because its the holidays that it might also have an effect on my weight gain.

 

I dunno.. . all these things seem like excuses, I'm just so down on myself.

 

Is there anyone else that can honestly say they've gained this much? I dont wanna be alone..