How much to pay friend for child care?

SusieBW

We have a friend who is a SAHM, and back when I was pregnant she volunteered to watch DD instead of us paying for day care.  Now I'm going back to work in a couple of weeks, so I've been talking to her about the details, and it's really going to happen.  I'm going back 3 or 4 days/week beginning in January, and will go back to full time around March or April (all depending on whether DH gets this new job we're waiting to hear about, because the more time I want to take I'll have to take some of it as leave without pay, and we can only afford that if DH gets this new job).

Anyway, our friend will have DD 2-3 days/week at first and 3-4 days/week once I'm back to full time (DH's aunt will have DD the other day or two, depending on her work schedule).  Friend is fine with the whole schedule and everything, and the other night we were talking about how much we're going to pay her.  She said, "oh, I don't care, that's totally up to you guys."  Now, I get that she's trying to be gracious and nice about it, but I want to make sure that we're being fair and making it worth it for her to take on our 4 month old, in addition to her own 2 yo daughter and 4 yo son.  I told her I would look into what some day cares charge and come up with something I thought was reasonable, and she said "Day cares are expensive, don't pay me that much!"  Her willingness to watch DD in the first place is a Godsend to us, because it means DD is with a trusted friend instead of at a day care with strangers, it gives us so much more flexibility than a day care, and it'll be cheaper than a day care.  But like I said, I want to make sure we're giving her enough.  What do you think would be a good/fair amount?