Vent...

mommy2be1991

I'm 20, pregnant, single and going through a lot of Sh!t.

Last week I went to testify against the man who sexually assaulted me a year ago. [not the father].

I spent 3 days on the stand in the superior court being torn apart. It was the most difficult thing I ever did. I hid my baby bump and dug down into the deepest reservoirs of courage. Everyone told me I did great. He was caught lying on the stand four times and none of that mattered. 

He chose a jury. The jury decided not guilty. He's a free man just like that.

The judge was shocked and actually wrote me a letter apologizing for the legal system and that it happened, even with all the evidence. Everyone involved was and shocked, from the detective, to my lawyer, to his lawyer. Everyone was certain he would be convicted after 6 days of hearing evidence. 

It's not fair. I feel betrayed and I am sorta regretting doing what I did. I stood up for myself ultimately. But I feel like I lost. He gets to walk free.

He's done this before, but under Canadian law his criminal record was concealed for a 'fair trial'.

Right now, he's out there again. I wonder how many more women need to be hurt and violated before he actually gets convicted.

I don't know how much more I can handle this week. Between that, getting gestational diabetes, having a scare at the hospital last night, having someone close to me leaving for good, and some other things I'm not ready to share... I think if something else happens I might crack...

I can't help but blame myself.