Introduction

Lnande2

Hello Everyone, I have been lurking for awhile now and I'd really like to join your community. My ex bf and I split up last May due to his lies, control issues, and verbal and physical abuse. He has made threats to me, my family members, friends, and friends of my parents. I had a high risk pregnancy due to preterm labor and was on bed rest from the beginning of July up until I had my DS Oct 16th. My ex bf (DS's father)is very eager to establish paternity and wants joint custody/parenting. He even is paying for a DNA test and will get the results back within 24 hours. We had mediation on Tuesday with our attorneys and have agreed to go to co-parenting counseling and a visitation schedule, that I am not ok with, has been outlined for the next two weeks. I will be allowed to be present for the first two visitations but not the others. He will have 2-3 hours of visitation on Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday. Tomorrow, he has to come to my house for one hour to meet my DS tomorrow and he is bringing his mother and my mother will be here as well. If I could have things my way, my ex bf would not be involved at all. I fear for my DS's safety and well-being. I am scared that my ex bf will become frustrated with my colicky baby and harm him. I am scared to death. I have made my concerns known and it doesn't seem to matter. My attorney seems to think that my ex will get even more visitation privileges if this is settled in court and I do not want that. I filed an EPO/DVO last August and it was dismissed. The same judge that dismissed it would hear the case in regards to this custody battle. No matter what my ex does, he always seems to get what he wants. I want what is best for my DS. I am breastfeeding him and my ex expects me to use a breast pump and supply him with milk. I am already going to have to supply my DS's childcare provider with milk and don't know how I will be able to supply him with milk too.I am extremely sick about this whole mess and just wish my ex would leave us alone. I know there are mothers out there that would welcome involvement from their child's father but I know how abusive my DS's father is and I am very concerned. I don't see how it is okay for him to take my one month old baby boy for visitation without me being there. The visitations will be supervised by my ex's mother but I don't necessarily trust her either. Also, I am very scared that he will be awarded overnight visitation in the next few months. How old is a child usually before a father can take their child for overnight visits? I feel like I am leaving out so much but there is enough drama to write a novel.