hello - intro and questions

littlemama480

I've been thinking about divorce for about a year now, and i'm getting closer to actually starting the process.  I have 2 boys, 1.5 and 4 years old.

 I was wondering if you guys could tell me about dividing parenting time and rules about moving.

 We were thinking about moving out of state, DH is interviewing for a job right now.  Am i correct in thinking that wherever we divorce is likely where we will need to stay if we have shared custody?  I kinda want to move, but i have a job here and am familiar with the new area.  if i am not able to get a job in the new state i won't have any option to leave, and even if i can find a job, it seems like it'd be more stressful to start over in a totally new place. 

DH is an ok dad, he doesn't do much for the kids, and on the weekends he's mostly checked out and doesn't really spend quality time with them.  I have no idea what to propose for a custody arrangement.  I'm not super worried about him fighting me on it, because he just doesn't seem too interested/able to take care of them because he works long hours.

 

By big stress is that i am currently .75 FTE (30 hours a week, with summers off) and so i don't bring home a lot of $.  DH makes 4x what I do.  I used a CS calculator, and it appears his CS won't quite cover daycare, let alone other expenses.  I'm looking at my budget now and looking for ways to decrease my expenses while still providing a decent home and food for my boys...our lifestyle is going to change quite a bit, i think.  I guess i'm just looking for some general words of advice or support.  thisshit is really hard.