Am I being unfair?

mdotm0904

Sorry that I only post when I have a question but you ladies would know better than anyone. I need to start contributing to the board more. So forgive me. But anyway I have a question. BD hasn't seen LO since the day before we were discharged from the hospital (after we got in a huge fight because I wouldn't agree to any custody schedules b4y discharge.) so the next day he files papers for joint custody and sends an email saying he doesn't want anything to do with her because he doesn't think he's the dad. Haven't seen/nor heard from him since.

 Fast forward 2 months & 2 days and Today I get an email saying he is going to buy a paternity kit and I need to let him know when I'm available so that he can swab LO.  I told him I don't feel comfortable with an at-home test but if he Wants to make an appt at a lab and I take her to have a tech swab her, I'm more than willing. And in the meantime if he wants to see her he can.

He emails back pretty much telling me that we wouldn't be having this convo had I chosen my words more wisely in the hospital. And that he's not going to bond with a child that might not be his. And that he wants his at home test before we go to court and have them still do a test (in his papers he's requesting the court establish paternity). Also he says he doesn't want to solely do visits at my mom's house (where LO & I live, because of "everything going on" and that he'll consider visitation if I bring her to his house.)

 My gut is telling me to stand my ground. And that he may possibly have ulterior motives. Do I want him in LO's life? Yes I do. But he's already initiated court proceedings and we're just waiting for a date. So there's another part of me that's wondering why now pop up all of a sudden and demand testing & visits at your house? Why not just wait it out until we get our court dates and do it on the record. An I being unfair? Would you just let him do the at home test so he can start to bond w/LO? My apprehension is that I don't know where he's sending my child's DNA or if he's even going to send it. What if he sends some other DNA do that his "home test" comes back negative for paternity & then He's off the hook and has a "reason" for why he hasn't seen her in 2 months...