IL Vent (original, right?)

amanda.beth

I thank you in advance if you read all the way to the end, and I'm really sorry if I sound like a whiny brat. I'm not really a brat, I promise. 

DH has two sisters. Both got pregnant right after they got married (younger SIL now has a 3-year-old, and older SIL is due in January). They also both told everyone in the family immediately. Neither were very good situations, other than the joy of a new nephew: younger SIL's husband was not allowed in the country because of extended illegal immigration and neither had jobs, and older SIL's husband had/has significant health problems and neither had jobs. Not exactly great situations to bring a baby into.

DH and I have worked really hard for the past 4 years to be ready for kids when the time comes. And although this baby was a bit of a surprise (we were planning on starting TTC in January), we will be ready by the time the baby is here, financially and otherwise. We have told his parents, but not the rest of the family. We plan to next week after our first appointment. It's driving MIL crazy that we are waiting to tell; she doesn't understand why anyone would wait.

We just found out yesterday that younger SIL is pregnant again. Actually, MIL called us because SIL was "too embarrassed" to tell us. She is due a month after me. As we were getting off the phone, she said "Okay, we're going to call [grandma] and [grandpa] and tell them now!" I know I imagined it, but I felt like she was smirking as she said it.

I feel like when we tell everyone next week, they will all already know about younger SIL, and it will just be like Oh cool, someone else is pregnant. I know I'm being immature about it, but I feel like we've been the responsible ones, sacrificing and waiting until the right time, and our news will be the least exciting. I also can't help but feel judgmental that they are in no place to have another baby. They're barely making ends meet now, and she has another year and a half of nursing school.

That said, I really am excited that our baby will have cousins the same age. I just can't help feeling like our parade was rained in a little bit. I have been waiting for this for four years, and I feel like it's not going to be that big of a deal. I KNOW it's selfish to think like that. I HATE FEELING LIKE THIS!!!

Can you tell I am having inner conflict? I know I just need to get over it and be happy for them (which I AM!). Any advice on how to actually DO that? Please slap me back into reality.

I'm sorry for the long vent. I haven't told anyone else about this baby besides my parents, and I just don't have anyone I can talk to about this.