Seeking Advice - Domestic Abuse (Super Long)

ChunkyMunkey

This may get long and I apologize. I created an AE especially for this post as there are some IRL people that know me on here and I'm not ready to let anyone know what is going on. I promise it is not MUD.

I have been with my husband for 3 years, we have a son who turns 1 next week and I am currently 9 weeks pregnant. He has always had an anger problem and a drinking problem. When he mixes the two together it gets ugly. We have had minor altercations in the past but nothing very serious. Some pushing and threatening words, but nothing quite like what happened this weekend.

Saturday he went to a cancer benefit with some friends and came home completely wasted. He began getting rowdy over at his friends house. Threatening to kill his friends father and then proceeding to head butt his friend in the face. There was no logical reason behind it and no one know what provoked it. I was at home at the time so I had no idea what was going on. I guess he returned home after friend's GF kicked him out.

I'll try not to get too much into details but when he came home I basically said I didn't want to speak with him while he was drunk, wanted him to stay away from me and leave me alone for the night. We would talk when he sobered up. Well he didn't like that idea. It went from forcing me down, pinning me to the bed with his forearms. I told him if he physically hurt him that I would contact police. Maybe it was the wrong thing to say at the time, I'm not sure. But from there he proceeded to punch me 3 times in the face and head, pull forefully on my ears and rip out a chunk of my hair. As I tried to get away he grabbed me in a chokehold from behind and then punched me twice more in the back of the head. The whole time he kept mumbling about killing me and killing our son. At one point he even tried rolling me up in a blanket as if I was dead. He's a very very strong man and it's hopeless for me to try to fight him.

Anyways, the night ended with me calling his friend and barricading myself in our son's room with a knife. Friend called police and they showed up moments later. I gave a full recorded statement in complete honesty of what happened.

I have been in contact with him since. He does not recall anything that happened (hasn't been the first time). He's angry I made a statement and wanted me to try to do whatever I could to get him out. Being the idiot that I am, I called the detective on the case and tried to retract my statement. He told me that I would be arrested and jailed as well for domestic abuse and falsifying information. I admitted that my original statement was true. He also told me that they had enough evidence to prosecuted H with or without my statement. He will be charged and due to previous assaults on his record he will be doing between 3-5 years in prison.

I still love him very much and want to be there for him but my brain is telling me to get far away and protect my family. My son comes first before anything. Part of me keeps believing that H can change and stop drinking and be a better man.....but the abuse has only progressed since we've been married. I know I'm being stupid by thinking the way I do and I'm totally lost.

I do have a great job working for my parents company and I get to bring my son so I do have an income. I'll have to break the lease at my current apartment as there is no way I can afford to stay by myself.

My main question is. Where do I go from here? Where do I start? The police told me about a program called Home Free but I haven't looked into it as of yet. My biggest fear is that when H gets out he will come after me or attempt to get partial custody of our children. He has never hurt DS but I would still fear for his safety. Would his charges prevent him from getting custody? After H is charged and I know what is going on (which should be today or tomorrow) then I plan on contacting an attorney.

If you made it through all that thank you very much. Any advice you can give me is much appreciated.