I'm thinking tonight, and its nothing good.

celestialnyte

I know I already posted tonight ... but ... 

I'm the eldest of 5, the youngest are twin 11 yr olds and were born when I was 16. My mom's pregnancy was normal, though high risk because she was over 35. (There was a 3rd sac, but it vanished.)

My mom ended up giving birth 5 weeks early, the older being born at home (in the toilet). The younger ended up being transverse lie in the birth canal, but nobody in the room caught it (although they claimed they did an u/s). After pushing for 25 mins, they lost the baby's hb and had to do an emergency c-section. Now, the younger of the twins is in a vegetative, comatose state, J tube for feedings, trach for breathing ... and she is never expected to come out of it as she's been like this since birth.

The doctor (and the entire practice) is now no longer around. I will be giving birth at the same hospital my mother did, and I am petrified. I know that a pregnancy can go fine and dandy throughout, and then something happens and BAM. I know that I'm being pretty irrational and over thinking everything, but I can't help but think that I could have 2 normal, happy, healthy little sisters, and I have one who is pretty normal (shes got developmental delays) and another who ... isn't. 

Does anyone else have any life experiences that they're thinking about for this pregnancy? I know what happened to my mom doesn't mean that it'll happen to me but it makes me so nervous. And I KNOW that as time goes on, the nervousness can pass to LO, and worrying now can actually cause LO to have some emotional troubles after their born. I don't want to pass anything like that along to them because I can't stop thinking about 'what if' and not just enjoy being pregnant and loving that in June I'll have LO on the outside instead of the inside.