XP 1st Tri: Goodbye...

on_a_whim

I hate that I am writing this right now... but I've spent all morning/day crying, and I just need to get this out.

Yesterday evening I posted about having some light pink/brown spotting at 5w5d.  Well, this morning I woke up at 4:30am to a lot of bright red blood.  I went to the ER where they took my blood and completed a u/s... after 5 hours of waiting around in the hospital, the doctor informed me that my beta levels were at only 30 and the u/s unfortunately, showed nothing.  But I already knew it was over.

I am of course a total wreck right now; nobody knew MH and I were TTC other than the ladies on TB.  I can't sit still, can't even contemplate laying down and sleeping... I'm still so much in shock...and numb.

I'm trying to tell myself that everything happens for a reason...that it just wasn't meant to be... and that we will one day get the little one we have been dreaming about for so long now.  It's definitely hard to think positively at the moment, but I'm trying.

I only just recently moved over to 1st Tri and the June BMB, and I am so very sad to already be leaving you all... But before I leave, I just wanted to say that I truly wish each and every one of you a happy and healthy pregnancy... Albeit short, I enjoyed my time here. 

 xox