BSC IL Dog Drama (1st Tri Repost, Hella long)

sheilatakesabow

Since we've had so much discussion about pets the past few days, I thought some of you ladies who may not have seen my previous post might have some advice or ideas.  I posted this on 1st tri a few weeks ago, and its been weighing on my mind heavily since we're gearing up to tell the inlaws about the pregnancy soon.  (We haven't told them yet b/c we haven't seen them in person b/c DH's father won't come see us unless one of DH's sisters agrees to dog sit b/c he won't leave his dogs alone.)  

http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/58772527.aspx 

So my ILs are, in many respects, very nice people BUT there is one area in which they are completely bat-sh!t crazy.

Their dogs.  They have 3 neurotic poodle mixes.  The latest of which is an Australian Shepherd blend who we have taken to calling ?Kujo.?  The dog is a PROBLEM.  It growls and barks and bares its fangs and lunges at anyone who comes over to the house or who gets too close to the ILs when they are walking it.  We no longer stay over night out their house because of this; they refuse to crate the dog or leave it outside no matter how aggressive it is.  I have a dog myself, and I meet dogs out walking all the time:  I have never in my life thought one was going to bite me EXCEPT Kujo.  Yet ILs insist ?oh, she?s all bark, she?s never bitten anyone!? as if that?s some kind of guarantee that the dog never *will* bite anyone.    

Not only that, but my ILs, as DH?s grandma puts it, ?treat those dogs like babies?.  They won?t leave them home alone without a babysitter.  They have skipped weddings and bat mitzvahs to ?be with the dogs?.  My BIL got married last month, and they BROUGHT THE THREE DOGS TO THE WEDDING.  My SIL sat outside with the dogs all night long, basically skipping her own brother?s wedding, and Kujo went after any one who came near, including DH?s 6 months pregnant cousin!  (I may or may not have taken the opportunity to drunkenly yell at it ?Knock it off you b!tch!? . . .) 

Finally listening to all the complaints, they got a trainer for the dog *once*, but they got some kind of nut job who announced that the dog is barking b/c it is afraid, thus you should give it food so it won?t be afraid and will stop.  So now, any time the dog goes after someone, they give it treats!  Way to reward the very behavior you say you?re trying to avoid . . . .  Shockingly, this technique has not proven effective.  They?ve had the dog for 2.5 years now, and there has been no improvement in that time.  

 Anyway, here?s my question:  I have long said ?no child of mine will *ever* be in the same house as Kujo?, and DH is in complete agreement.  The question is, how do we communicate this stance to them?  I know everyone thinks that grandchild (which they are very eager for) will trump dog, but I am not so optimistic as I?ve seen them put the dog over other family members and their own children time and again.  We haven?t told them I?m pregnant or even that we?d been trying.  DH has been trying to work on his Mom, who most recently said ?well maybe we should get the dogs some training . .?    Umm, ya think???  An aggressive dog is not a happy dog!

I'm tired of attempting to reason with them and frankly want to just make an ultimatum as soon as we tell them we?re pregnant: ?and if you want to see this grandbaby, you?re going to have to come to us, b/c this child will NOT be around Kujo, not ever, unless you send that thing to Boot Camp and it is trained to our satisfaction, not yours.?  That may well result in them rarely if ever seeing their grandkid, as they won?t leave the dogs unless one of their daughters dog sits.  They have friends they no longer see b/c the friends won't come over, and they won't leave the dogs alone long enough to go see them.   

DH wants to just slowly try to convince them over time.  We both agree that once we announce we?ll enlist the assistance of his grandma and his mom?s cousin, and I told BIL?s new wife at the wedding that I?ve got the back of anyone who refuses to let the dog around their children and hope she feels the same.  I?ve contemplated interventions and letter writing . . .

So, any advice?  Even though I?ve only been pregnant for like 10 minutes, the depth of their blindness and delusion is such that I think we need to get working on this sooner rather than later.  Hope this novel was mildly entertaining, and/or made you thankful for your own ILs!  Thanks for reading!