Considering divorce **UPDATED**

ldoo

My husband and I have been married for nearly 5 years and dated for 7 before that. He married me basically cause he felt obligated to, and I wanted to marry him because I had low self-confidence, didn't want to start over and I wanted kids.

I know. Very stupid.

We have a 19mo and 3yo. He is not incredibly involved, but he is a loving dad for sure. But he screams and yells and has the world's worst temper. He is very controlling. He obsesses about the cleanliness of the house and freaks out if too many sippy cups are used or if the toys are all over the place.

He just seriously needs anger management therapy, and even if he got it, I am just done being in an emotionally abusive relationship. (Is that emotionally abusive? It feels like it is.)

And I do NOT want to be selfish and mess my kids up through divorce. But they shouldn't have to hear him scream. It scares them. And it teaches them to yell. And they see us fighting. I just don't think it's healthy for any of us, and my husband isn't happy either.

But I'm scared. Can I afford a divorce? Can I support my family (I work full time, and I know he would definitely pay any child support he was required to)? And I don't want to "share" my girls. I want to be with them, not send them away for weekends at a time.

I've known all along that this relationship wouldn't work. But pulling the trigger scares me, and I'm so worried about what it might do to my children.

Just looking for support. 

UPDATE:

I told my husband that I wanted a divorce because we can't handle his temper. He finally got the point and immediately began looking into anger management counseling. It's a start.