How do you handle bad transitions?

blissfullyignorant

My ex and I have shared parenting. He has 2 overnights per week. Exchanges are rough - and not on DS end. My ex can't act civil to save his life. At first we did drop offs at each others homes. Since that wasn't working I recommended we stick to neutral places only. We do exchanges at our workplaces (primarily mine since it's more centrally located).

There are still issues. He's aggressive during exchanges and refuses to talk to me. He won't tell me how DS is doing, when he ate last, if he napped, etc. He frequently just shoves DS at me and speeds off. Then DS is upset - I assume because of the negative feelings my X is obviously giving off. X has a lot of anger towards me (I'm not sure why at this point).

I'm don't know how to handle it. Any tips? I'm always civil in front of DS and ask him to say bye bye to daddy, wave, if X is picking him up I try to give him a brief update, etc. I am so sick of him acting this way. Exchanges take 2 minutes max so I don't get why he can't just suck it up. Since that's obviously not in the cards I'd love some insight into how others handle it.