SM doing activity with your child

Cookie Monster Mama

Hello!

I am not a single parent but I am a SM.  I just posted a question on blended families but I would like to get a BM perspective.  You can read the full post over there (What's My Role?) if you want.  Here's the short version...

I have been invited into an exlcusive, prestigious mother and child national organization.  I have a 22 mo old DS and a SS14.  The mandatory event before my family is voted on is a weekend we will have SS.  The entire family is up for voting must be present so DH will be there.  The only role the dad's play in this group is the picnic in summer and the Christmas brunch - and to write checks.  No one in the organization knows I have a SS - we didn't have him the wknd of the picnic and I don't talk about him.  The orgnization does mandatory activities every month, travels to other chapters in the state/country.  SS is an all A Honors student that is not involved in any activites and would benefit greatly from this organization...but I am NOT his mother.  Not to mention we (meaning I) dont' have enough control over his schedule to make the manadorty things.  Yes, DH and BM switch weekends all the time but she has been know to say no a time or two...

I'm leaning towards asking DH to switch weekends with BM since SS won't be going.  He has no friends at our house so he can't go there while we are at the event and I don't want to leave him at the house while we leave to do something fun and he's there alone - that just seems mean.

Question:  Would you allow your child to participate in an event that would hands down benefit your child, if it's a mother and child organization with SM?  Remember, you have no chance of joining this organziation yourself - it's with SM or nothing.