Down since lurking on SO board last night. vent

HeavenlyExcitedBride

I am not ready to call the phase I am going through as starting over yet and thus have not introduced myself on the SO board but I do lurk to see how ladies are doing past the stage I am currently in for hope.  I know some of you are on that board. I was hoping the SO board would be a place I can go and vent someday. I am not even thinking or looking to go into another relationship right now. But I shouldn?t have to feel like I am looked down upon either.  I am angry at my stbxh, so angry at what he destroyed. 

There was a thread about multi divorces and if we judge those who gone through multiple divorces.  We don't really know what is going on through other's shoes.  You see, I am going through my second divorce right now.  I was first married young at the age of 22 and that marriage last for 5 years, it actully took me 5 years to get away from an abusive marriage (abuse which started before the marriage but was I was too scared and did not know how to get out of at first).  I had the help of domestic violence agency.

I waited 3 years and got married again to a man I felt safe and trusted. He opened the car doors for me every day, did an elaborate proposal, and wrote poetry, made sure all my needs were met, I was in it for a long haul, and he had a baby with me.  I didn't see this divorce coming nor did I ask for it.  I had no choice as he refused to work things out, go to counseling or even give me the slightest example of what was bothering him.  All he said was that he didn?t love me and hope that over time it would changed but it didn?t, and while that he can live without the love, he couldn't take my disability differences anymore since he didn't feel like he could be himself around me (of which he knew when he asked me to marry him) and that he did never liked my personality.  I wish I had an easier answer such as abuse or cheating but I don't and this is something I will never understand.  He has completely rejected me and attacked my personal character which hurts more than anything.  I have no choice but to move on and live the best life for myself and my son.  I am only age 35.  Life isn't going how I had hoped it would go, that is all I can say.