Don't know what to do

daisy889

This is my first time posting here. I recently decided to get a divorce, I posted on the 3-6 boards about finding H talking to other women online. Now i find out he is irl. I really don't know what to do, this relashonship has been dragging on for a long time, and i am finally at my wits end emotionally. I have gone back in forth about staying with him for awhile now, but i believe my excuses and reasons are not good enough. I am a stay at home mom, have no income and not much family. So this is where my dilemma is, Ofcourse i would need to get a job, apartment etc.

What next? How do you do it alone? I honestly can't stand the thought of being alone, but i can't stand the thought of being with him because i depend on him and that being the only reason doesnt sit right with me. I do love him, but it's been so much heartache i wonder do i really love him? Or am i comfortable with him? This cheating has now set it in stone, really im upset but not as much as i thought i would be. I am more upset about doing it alone. I do not have a 'go-getter" personality as i used to. So i also wonder how it will be will i just sit at home and sulk? Or will i actually move forward?

 Really, there's just so many questions, I guess my real question is how do you do it alone? How do you move forward and believe things will be better? At this point i just am scared. Any help or any input, I really don't even know what im expecting to hear, i guess i just want to someone to listen as i dont have many people to talk to. Thanks