Ultimatums (long)

Telyco

Do you guys give ultimatums a lot? I don't know why but they really bother me. Do you have ultimatum dos/don'ts?

My SIL and BIL give them a lot...like, instead of asking their kids to do something...it's ALWAYS "if you don't do it ...you won't get X" it rubs me the wrong way but I never really said anything to DH.

Last night we were trying to get Evan to eat a little more before we went to HomeDepot (which means stopping at Tim Hortons for coffee and the kids split an old fashioned donut)...so DH was being stern with Evan and saying "if you don't finish this hotdog you won't get a donut"...and Evan was resisting. We just wanted to get him to take one more bite - so two minutes later I said "Evan, please eat this for Mama while I get your shoes on" and he did and all was fine.

So I forgot my phone which meant I actually had to DH while in the car (kidding of course) so we were talking about this...and then Evan was whining while we were getting coffee and DH said "You have to be good or else you won't get a donut'...haha - and then we laughed because he must do it more than he realizes. I guess I just feel like you should be able to ask a kid to do something without always hanging something over their head to punish them if they don't.

I get teaching consequences and all that...but I don't know if this is the only way to do it, kwim?? Does it just depend on the kid?

Anyone care to share their $.02??