brokedown today

cemacmil

well basically just now....

It all started in Target where I had to fill a script because I was completely out, it was a new script, insurance was confused with the old script, the pharmacist was looking at me like I was trying to pull one over (yes DD was in the cart with me)...well luckily they finally got it figured out.

It was just kind of the straw that broke the camel's back....DD had not slept since waking this morning at 5am so I was exhausted, plus yesterday was my first 12 hour shift back at work to add to tiredness (I sleep in 2-3 hour chunks even at night with her), I checked out this week's formula prices while at Target which added to last nights realization that I have gone through almost 4 23oz powder packs in the past 3 weeks, so I checked last night to see if I would qualify for any assistance (WIC, foodstamps, daycare) online and no - I make "too much", I am pretty sure I will just have to prosecute and prosecute for child support (which would basically only cover formula costs.....and I am exhausted and worried on how I am going to make this all work and function like a normal person as a single mom. I know I will but it doesn't make the breakdowns any less easy or little realizations you have here and there any less easy either.

Even though I have my parent's for support emotionally (I still pay all bills), I feel like it's not enough sometimes or that they are pre-occupied to really listen. I have few, ok no local friends besides co-workers, and am changing counslers due to mine is a bit of a drive and she just isn't doing it for me right now either.

Don't get me wrong, I am good most of the time it's just when days/moments like these happen or build up it feels so hard, it feels like it is going to be so hard...Ahhh!

So thank you ladies for being here to listen when no one else seems to have the time because if I didn't at least get it out here I would probably cry the rest of the day or until I feel asleep BTW, DD just fell asleep so now I get to eat today....yay!

Also if you are still reading, any tips on what to do when you start to feel "the build-up" or on how to get more emotional support/friends? TIA.