Guess I just wanted to vent...

lauragetsfit

I posted this on another board and they suggested that I try posting in the Single Moms board....

 

I'm still in a state of shock, but wanted to talk to someone about what's going on with me. I'm 10 weeks pregnant, and have been married since last December. My husband and I have had ups and downs...a lot since we got married. Some physical abuse, verbal abuse, and emotional abuse. We separated and got back together several times. The last time that we separated in May, he said that he was going to start going to AA, we were going to go to marriage counseling, and that he was going to make changes. He kept his promise. For almost three months, he made it to 95 days sobriety, we did some marriage counseling, and I thought that we were happy. He even stopped hitting me now that alcohol was out of the picture. In early August I found out that I was pregnant, and he seemed really excited. But weeks went on and I could see a change in him. Yes, we got into a few arguments (my hormones are all over the place and I'm very sensitive), but we always managed to work them out, or so I thought. Then, a few weeks ago I noticed a change in him. He stopped telling me he loved me, he stopped telling me how pretty I am, and he even stopped telling me how excited he was that we were having a baby on the way. Then, yesterday I was getting ready for work. It seemed like a typical morning. We had "couple time," he made me breakfast, and even packed my lunch. An hour before I was to leave work we talked on the phone and he said he was going to Starbucks and that he was going to see me when I got home. Then he said he loves me. So, I get out of work, I'm headed home, and I get a text from him. Basically he's saying that he's leaving me. He said he's not excited about the baby and that he doesn't even want it. He said he's been plotting to leave me for weeks and that this isn't the lifestyle that he wants anymore. Apparently he wasn't happy with just me, the baby on the way, our dog, and a sober life. Later on in the day (I tried texting and calling him, but he refused to respond to me) he texted me and said that he's been cheating on me With an ex-gf from when he was a teenager. I'm so heartbroken and devestated. Part of me is relieved. I don't have to worry about if he's going to hit me again, if he's going to leave me, if he's going to yell at me, etc. But the other part misses him and our good times. Anyway, I'm staying at my parents' house now and plan to move back. I never thought that I'd be a single mom, but here I am. I'm planning to raise my baby on my own and be happy, and make sure that she or he has a fantastic, happy life. My parents are wonderful people and very supportive. I guess I feel blessed to have my family. Anyway, I'd love to talk to someone. I need all the support and hopefully new friends that I can get. Thanks for reading...