Feeling sad about my sex life

Sascha3

Sorry...this got a little long.

My libido pretty much went away during the first trimester.  Now it is back, but I would be happy with once a week...no more than twice.  That is exactly what we were doing until recently. 

A little over 2 weeks ago, one of my friends mentioned how she didn't see how her fiance would be attracted to her if she was pregnant, because it would be weird to have sex while the baby was in there.  I have felt very attractive during my pregnancy and have had no sexual hangups about having sex while pregnant, just a lowered libido.  My husband has always had a strong sexual appetite and would usually want sex every day or two.  During my pregnancy, he has stopped initiating sex, which I automatically assumed he was doing out of kindness to me, since I didn't feel like it very much.  It never once crossed my mind that he didn't want to. 

So after my conversation with my friend, I decided to ask him if he never tries because he is being nice, or because he is turned off.  He told me he is not turned off by me, but he feels uncomfortable, like he will somehow hurt the baby.  We went through a miscarriage last fall, and the bleeding started after sex one night, even though we were being told it was a blighted ovum beforehand and it was not viable, so I can understand why he has hesitation.

Since then, I feel like he is relieved it is out in the open and has not had sex with me.  I even "initiated" it the other day, which I am not too aggressive about.  It basically involves walking up to him naked and kissing him, which is all it ever took before.  But this time, he just kissed me and sat down at the computer. 

I feel like if I were to be more aggressive and he turned me down, I would be so hurt I would not try again.  And if I talk to him about it, then I feel it makes it awkward, and then I will feel like he is doing it out of obligation and not because he wants to. 

I don't know how to approach this, but I am starting to feel really hurt by it.  After 5 years of never being turned down and him constantly wanting sex, this is uncharted territory.