VENT: My friend wants to commit suicide.

Kelmarwil

I'm sorry for the bluntness of the title, but there's honestly no rainbow-rific way to put it.

My friend that I've known since high school and that up until recently worked with me came to me today explaining her situation (which also explained why she quit). I cannot talk to people other than the couple that needed to know at work because she is embarassed and does not want others gossipping about her. But I just cannot stop thinking about it and am really upset, so I am sharing here. She is in a really tough spot with her family and life. Her dad is dying of terminal cancer and is trying to "finish" himself off early. Most of his body is already shutting down. He is also bipolar and my friend has all the signs of being so as well. Her mom cannot deal with it and has always been very cold. Both of her parents abused her and her brothers and with the whole situation its gotten to the point where she cannot take it anymore. She's binge drinking and doing coke. She's not the same girl I used to know at all and she is being very open with how close she is to taking her own life. I've been in depressed situations and periods in life myself, and I know how that darkness can close in but nothing I've been through compares to everything that has happened to her. She doesn't want advice because she says she is "beyond human help now". And there is no real solid advice that I can give her. I know I just needto be there for her and what she really needs are friends right now. I wish she could stay with me, but I'm too concerned with bringing drugs and that kind of drinking into my home while I'm pregnant or with a newborn. I'm afraid the added stress I'd have with also having to train my new crew at work (about 15 new team members) and school would harm my pregnancy. I feel selfish for thinking like that, even though I know I'm trying to protect my baby. I keep thinking about what if it does happen, because sadly, I could see her doing it with the drugs and everything. Her mind is so gone right now. I keep seeing the old, happy her in my mind and it's killing me to think of her now.

I'm sorry for the length, I tried to shorten the details, I just need somewhere I can get it out. I have such a weight on my heart to make sure she's okay right now. Anyone else experience a friend like this? I've only ever had a couple of depressed friends myself, and not to this extent. I just feel like her coming to me tonight was a cry for help, and if I don't answer it I won't forgive myself. I've been openly communicating with her for the past few hours, but I don't know how much help its been.

By the way, her dad also attempted suicide tonight.