WWYD: Baby Shower Dilemma

elissaann26

DH and I are in the process of becoming foster parents.  To help us get all of the baby gear needed to get licensed, my group of girlfriends (who are all my neighbors) are throwing me a baby shower- very thoughtful and nice.  Last week I was asked to provide a list of people to invite, which I provided about 12 friends and family.  I also mentioned that if it was thrown on a certain weekend that my MIL could attend since she would be in town visiting from NJ.  Then last night I get a call saying that they were thinking of taking me out to a fancy dinner dinner just with the 5 of them, but that my MIL and mom could join us. 

This is not at all what I want, but I feel bad telling them that.  I really wanted something casual like a bbq, and I even volunteered to have it at my house if they needed a venue and I'd help with preparing some of the food b/c we love to entertain.  Because there are no physical signs that we are expecting, I was looking forward to having a shower with our friends and family (not just this group of girls) to celebrate the little one on the way.  Plus, I don't want these girls spending a ton of money on a fancy dinner that I don't really want.  Also, I think it would be awkward having a fancy dinner with just my girlfriends and my moms.     

Should I tell them what I really want?  I hate to feel like I am forcing them to throw a shower that they don't want to do, but I feel like I should say something.  What/how much do you think I should tell them?