1st meditation appointment, not sure how to get through it.

Annplus1

I appologize if I come off a little whiny or rambling, that isn't my intent. I just need to type it out so I get it. 3 monts ago I believed I was in a marriage. We were having problems, but nothing beyond normal ones people have, we had been in therapy together and were making real progress. I thought anyway. We were still trying for a baby.

Middle of May I am told we are getting a divorce. I did the normal (I hope anyway) begging, pleading, promising to change, all to no avail. I say screw it, can't make someone love me, and don't know who this guy is anyway, so I start to rebuild. I get into IC with our therapist, and start to get stronger.

Middle of June I turn out to be pregnant with the kid we wanted, tried for, for 4 years. It didn't change his opinion, we are moving forward with the divorce. I guess my brain is okay with that, but man. My heart is broken. We have a mediation appointment tonight, the first one, and I have a lawyer appointment tomorrow.

My question (finally)- Any tricks for not falling apart during mediation? I am okay with falling apart privately after, but how do I get through the 1.5 hours sitting with him and going over all our financial records? Any advice? I don't want to cry, and I don't want to get angry. I want to get through it with any diginty I have left. I also want to keep my blood pressure down for the baby.

Thanks for reading.