I don't want to be spiteful.....

mdotm0904

but he's taking me there. I've tried to remain as nice and cordial as possible. It sucks because a lot of the problems I have/had with my BD were due to the fact that I broke up with him right after finding out I was pregnant and he "didn't see it coming" so he's been acting like a spoiled brat since. (even though our relationship was dissolving for months before & he had broken up with me numerous times but I always "begged" him to stay)  I chose to exclude him from most of my pregnancy because I was tired of being constantly disrespected & he was stressing me out during whats supposed to be a beautiful time in my life. (FWIW i've had a pretty uneventful pregnancy so it's not much I've kept from him. I invited him to early appointments but he said it was "too much" that he thought he was "done with all this". So I stopped. I showed him early ultrasound pics and even later emailed him 3D pics around 32wks. He came to one doc appt but got there after it was almost over & I felt so awkward & uncomfortable that I never invited him back) I feel like it's my right as a woman to deal with my pregnancy as I see fit & I don't think it reflects on how my relationship with him would be after the baby is here, because I've never tried or mentioned not allowing him to have open access to her.

Anyway, I've always wanted to give her my last name. It's something he actually brought up in very early pregnancy. However, after giving her her 1st & last name myself, all of a sudden he wants her to have his last name. I offered hyphenation, he said no. Long story short, many months, emails, discussions, & tears later. He agreed. Well now he wants 50/50 custody after I have emails & notes that I wrote down after a face to face convo in June that he didn't want 50/50, but EOW and that if i don't agree he's taking me to court. I don't know if it's being selfish or unfair but I don't think we should have 50/50 custody, especially not yet. She's not even HERE yet & once she gets here she'll be too small to do 50/50. 

He's also been harassing me about a paternity test, even though I'm not the one that was sleeping with other people while we were dating. He claims my hospital does testing (I know that they don't & have verified multiple times), so this can't be done immediately after birth. And i'm pretty sure that he's not going to sign the birth certificate or paternity affidavit until he gets his test. 

So I swear, the very spiteful part of me wants to just give her my last name like I had intended. Not invite him to the hospital to see her. And if he wants paternity/custody/visitation just let him file for it in court. Because trying to be reasonable with this man is NOT working....but i know Eden's the one that's going to suffer in the end if I let my spite overtake me.

Can't wait to meet with this lawyer...I have no idea what to do.

thanks for letting me vent....