Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Question - Why do you no longer believe in God?

I know that the religious stuff is nearing dead horse status, but this question is just because I am curious what made others come to this realization. 

For me, it was having a sick baby that really ended my (already struggling) belief totally.  I know some say that he saved Carson, but why?  I just can't wrap my brain around why he would choose to save/heal my baby (or any baby) and leave others to suffer.  

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Carson Henry, born 39w, 2d via emergency c/s due to no fetal movement and fetal distress. Seizures 6 hours after birth. Complete clot in the brachial artery in his right arm. IVH grade 2. Brain, kidney and liver injuries. 27 day NICU stay. At 2 years, has been discharged from nearly all specialists (kidneys will continue to be monitored). Tough little guy who defied his grim prognosis and is going great!
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