*Huber22* Re: Foster Parents

Floridamom224

Hi!  I don't usually post, just lurk...but, I am regularly on the Adoption Board.  We are Foster Parents!  We have been for 4 years, and we took one year off and recently reopened our home.  We have trouble with TTC, and we actually became foster parents before we found out about our infertility issues.  We adopted DS.  He was 9 months old when he came to us in foster care.  At that time we had had 4 other foster kids, and then he was so neglected and medically needy that we only took him for the entire time he was with us as a foster child.  Finally, 2.5 years later we got to adopt him.  We then closed our home to take a break and focus on expanding our family biologically.  It was during that time that we were diagnosed with infertility and toyed with the idea of adopting another.  We looked into domestic adoption, and then decided to reopen out foster home to see if a situation came along like DS's. 

When we reopened it was a whole new ballgame because we had a 4 year old to think about.  We decided we would take children ages 0-5.  Our first placement was a 3 year old just a few months younger than DS.  He was with us for a month and then was placed with his grandmother and siblings.  We then had a few infants who were with us from anywhere from 1 day to a a week.  Then we had our current FS placed with us...he is 12 months old.  He came to us when he was 11 months old.  His parents rights have already been terminated, and he was living with a grandmother who could no longer care for him.  So, here he is.  We are hoping to adopt him in the next few months.

One thing we did learn so far, is that we had to lower our age range to 0-3.  It was really hard having a child around the same age as DS.  It has been much smoother having younger kids, because he feels like he can help take care of them.  Since DS is adopted, we talk about fostering with him and try to relay it as best we can to him.  For example, he was brought to us on Halloween 2007.  So, I call him my pumpkin baby, and tell him that Halloween is my favorite holiday because that is the day that he was born in our hearts.  We now tell him about the special day FS came to us, because he was born in our hearts on the day that his great granny (who passed earlier this year) would have turned 87. 

when the kids leave, it is emotionally hard, but we try to talk through it and tell him where they are going.  He thinks the foster kids come to live with us because their parents are sick, and need time to get better.

I just wanted to give you perspective from a foster parent who does have a young child.  If you have any questions let me know!!