Visitation Woes: few questions/advice needed

sapphire angel

Issue 1: He is ALWAYS late. I am so tired and PO'd at having to wait until he feels like dragging his butt out of bed and driving to see her. Do I have to wait around for him? I was in town for both of these recent visits so no 3 hours drive as an excuse: This Friday, he got off of work at 11, said he would pick LO up at about 12:30 and then didn't show up until 1:45. This Sunday, he didn't show up until 11:45 after saying he would be there at 9ish (I agreed to an extended time of 8-7). This just really makes me mad because I had an appointment at 1 pm on Friday and my dad had to take care of LO while at the same time, talk/work with a crew that was fixing the well pump. So do I have to wait around for him? What happens if he shows up and I'm not home? Does he come to meet me or does he wait outside of my place until I get there?

Issue 2: Extra visitation outside of the court order. Ex wants LO from Friday afternoon to Sunday Afternoon. This isn't in our court order and  we go back to court before this goes into it at 3 years old. Ex has yet to take advantage of the full amount of time allowed by the courts (8 to 5 every 1st, 3rd and 5fth Saturday of the month). He gets 18-27 hours a month and usually he only comes once a month for about 5-6 hours. He has no bed for LO, no toys, the booster he uses is borrowed form my parents as is the toilet seat reducer ring he told me he already had. He has absolutely nothing for LO. I flat out refused the request this time because I was already PO'd about having to wait on him for both visits. Should I even consider allowing this if Ex can't even bother himself to care for LO for his normal full 9 hour day, not to mention 9 hours, 2-3 times a month? Unless you ladies have good arguments I'm not even going to argue you this with myself any longer...