Sorry I have been MIA!

ohiostategal

It has been 1 week since Jax was born and what a week it has been.  When discharged from the hospital Jax was a little Jaundice so we were sent home with a Bili light to wear.  So he looked like a little glow worm!  We were attached to a short cord so we couldn't leave the upstairs area much. 

 

We had to go back to the hospital every morning for bloodwork.  After the first night (which went well) his levels were starting to come down.  That night (Sat) was horrible.  Suddenly Jax wanted to feed constantly and seemed hungry as soon as he stopped breastfeeding.  He screamed like he was in pain and we stayed up all night (from 8:30 pm to 7:15 am) with him and he fed or cried the entire time.  It was so exhausting and didn't just seem like normal newborn fussing.  When we went back to the hospital the night morning his jaundice was almost gone but his weight had dropped significantly and he had lost over 10% of his body weight from 9 lb 11.3oz at birth to 8 lb 10oz. 

They ran some more test and found out he was dehydrated.  I was so upset because it seemed my supply was low and he wasn't getting enough.  (Thanks PCOS you are the gift that keeps on giving) They gave us the option of admitting him to NICU for iv fluids or supplement with formula after every feeding for the next 24 hours and coming back.  Obviously I opted for supplementing.  I knew babies given a bottle this early were likely to refuse the breast afterwards and sure enough that happened.  So now he won't breastfeed.

I have been so emtional because I feel so guilty that I couldn't give him enough milk.  Also because I still wanted to try breastfeeding, DH needed to be the one to give him the bottle so I was basically cut out of feeding.  I just pump now.  

Things are looking better though. The LC thinks we can get him back on the breast and we have a game plan to get that done which includes a nipple shield for awhile, herbs to help my supply, renting a hospital grade pump for a month or so and lots of appointments with the LC. 

So the last few days have completely centered around feeding Jax and he is gaining those cute chunks back.  Honestly as stressful as some of this has been, just looking at his sweet little face just melts my heart.  I am so in love with him and can't wait for everyone on this board to experience this feeling.  I am going to try to be on here more now that things are calming down a little.  Here is a pic of Jax.