Why do I miss him tonight??

fromthewomb

This is stupid. I know I don't want HIM. I want the idea of him. I want the father of my daughter to love us more than his partying and his girls he has to constantly surround himself with. I see tv shows and movies with father/daughter relationships and it breaks my heart. I am supposed to be happy that he cannot hurt us anymore, but I didn't have my father in my life and I don't want this to hurt her in the future. It's so stupid because she isn't even born. I don't know why my mind is plagued tonight. She deserves a better man than him. She deserves childhood memories of playing games with him and them going places together. He doesn't. He doesn't deserve to ever see her. 

 I feel like I should have known I guess.