custody question ?

ace117

I lurk but had a question...sorry if this is long!

here is a lil of my story...me and the baby daddy broke up after I found out I was pregnant last year...he left me for another girl who he was already sleeping with and then he came running back around when my son was born because he was out of a job and had no money; he's a major mooch. my son is almost 3 months old now and the father hasn't been around or helped with anything still, he's only around when it's at his convenience. we live in the same town but there is always an excuse why he can't come over (he has no vehicle so no ride, partying and friends are #1, etc.) and then he comes over when he isn't invited and pretends like everything is fine and I can't help but get mad--I don't think it's fair he visits when he doesn't help, even if it is his child. he never asks how the child is doing and he only sees him growing up through pictures on fbk. I'm more than fine on money, I have a great job, so I'm not needing the child support. the fathers only source of income is his army disability and his "gardening" project. he always makes promises of paying me back but that money always goes into more drugs...you know the kind of guy that is, chooses drugs over his own child and can always buy himself things but not his child. I know these stories are here on this board a lot and I usually relate a lot to the ladies here.

Since my son lives with me 24/7 and I have him on my insurance and pay for daycare-formula-diapers-etc., is he in my sole custody or do I have to go to court for that? I already make all the decisions without the father (I ask him but he says he doesn't care) so didn't know if it was assumed about custody or not? I look up online this stuff but it mainly is for people who are divorced, and I never was married. also, I'm looking to move to a bigger city this summer and didn't know if I needed the father's permission to move with our son or if I can just go?

I guess I need pushed in the right direction and looking for you ladies to help me a little...I'm a little unsure of what all the legal actions I should take...

TIA!