do I call him? kinda long

Raspberry807

I mostly lurk, but I'm struggling with this and my friends/family are all biased against my ex so it's useless to discuss something like this with them. 

short version:  ex hurt our kids emotionally two weeks ago on his parenting time, I am reluctant to take the kids there this weekend because the situation doesn't seem to have changed.  he hasn't made any effort to contact the kids since, though he promised them he would.  do I follow our usual agreement (not a CO) and let him have them this weekend? 

 

long version: 

so ex and I did our parenting agreement ourselves out of court and it states he will take the kids (6 and 3) every other 4pm Saturday - 4pm Sunday.  this usually works well, I always drop them off and pick them up from him.  he pays support through the county.

two weeks ago I dropped them off at 4pm Saturday, and he called me at 5pm demanding that I come get them, his girlfriend was starting nasty arguments with him and he didn't want them exposed to that.  I resisted, saying he needs to parent and be responsible for them, protect them and keep them safe.  FFS it's only 48 hours a month he is responsible for them.  but the girlfriend and their baby live with him and he said he couldn't just kick her out.

anyways, I ended up picking them up, and he was crying and telling them he was sorry, and he promised to call them... (we ended up having a great night out at a movie and fun stuff so they were fine).  today is 12 days since and he hasn't called them.

before I decided to go get them that day, he got real nasty with me on the phone accusing me of not caring about my kids (hah!) and I put it right back to him that he never calls them and goes 2 weeks at a time with zero contact.  and I even went so far as to tell him fine, I'll come get them, but as long as the girlfriend is living there, I don't trust her, and after this episode I can't trust him to protect them.  so he will have to take me to court for custody as long as she is living there.  I threatened to take his kids away from him completely.  ugh.

so he's supposed to have them this Saturday night. I know what I told him in the argument, but we were both pretty angry, and I do not want to keep my kids from their dad.  he's not the best, but they adore him.  (DD just started writing full sentences and wrote in her journal "I miss my daddy so much" as we drove away that night)  I really do not trust the girlfriend now though, she doesn't care about my kids and will start nasty fights with ex in front of them. they are still living together.

what would you do?  stand your ground and not offer to bring them over until there is some assurance he won't hurt the kids emotionally again?  should I call him now and ask if he's planning to keep them Saturday night?  and ask for reassurance that all is okay?  for the past 3 years, I've tried to facilitate a good relationship between him and the kids, and he can't pick up the phone and call them once in the 12 days after he sent them home and even made the promise to call?  my kids haven't mentioned him at all, or I'd for sure let them call him.  I'm kinda done pushing it though, it hasn't made a difference in 3 years.