New here. What's your take on my situation? (long)

KatieGraceB

My now ex-SO and I got pregnant unexpectedly pretty soon after we started dating. We had known each other and been friends for a while before dating, so it's not like we were strangers. We made the decision to keep the baby, and he made the commitment to see things through and be a part of his son's life.

After having DS, we went through a lot of difficulties. The pregnancy was pretty hard on both of us. His family was not supportive at all, and that plus hormones, plus my family problems as well made me one crazy bish. Once he was here, my family situation blew up, my parents divorced and dragged me into the middle of it, I suffered from PPD pretty severely, and still was having some issues with his family not being supportive. Things have been hard, to say the least. Harder than either of us expected. That's all fine. It happens. It's how you deal with it right?

His way of dealing seems to be leaving for another girl. A younger, unattached, partying kind of girl. He's cut back on his time with DS. I know he loves his son. I know he cares for me. But lately he says he only has feelings for me as C's mom, not as a girlfriend. But my thinking on that is "Well, duh, neither of us have made time for me to be anything BUT C's mom, so how could you." He says he misses his freedom, as do I. He moved out, is staying with his brother, and is now running around with this other chick rather than seeing his son. It makes me absolutely sick. I know him pretty well, and this is NOT like him at all.

I suggested counseling, but he said since he felt like he didn't want to fix things that it would be pointless to go. Why he said he didn't want to fix things I'm not clear on. Sometimes he says that it's just too overwhelming and he doesn't know where to start, sometimes it's that he's just set his mind to moving on and doesn't know how to change it, and sometimes it's just plain stubborness.

I love him. I really do. And I know he loves both me and DS deep down. I feel like a lot of what's going on is that he's convinced himself he shouldn't have those feelings for me anymore, and has purposefully buried them because it's easier to go run off with someone who is unattached and childless. It's easier to go have his "freedom" than to be a dad. I think honestly that life and responsibility biitch slapped him in the face, and he wasn't ready for it, and rather than ask for help figuring out how to deal, he ran off.

So I guess my question is, does this sound like just a phase that will pass once he's had his fill of freedom and realizes what he's missing out on at home? I know everyone has their meltdowns, and while he has done some damage, I'm not totally opposed to seeing a counselor and trying to work things out at some point, IF he proves that he deserves that chance. Should I bother waiting it out and being understanding of his feelings right now? I should add that I have had those feelings too, but just didn't give myself the option of running out and having a meltdown for the sake of my son. So I totally understand where he's coming from, I just don't know what to do about it.

I've tried to be as thorough as possible with a squirmy DS in my lap, and limited time before I had to run out of the house. Also, if anyone has some encouragement I can pass on to BD, that would me much appreciated. Even though this IS a single parents board, I figure you ladies will have the most insight into how to handle this. TIA for any advice and encouragement you have to offer!