New And In Need Of Advice. Kind Of Long.

SCARCESE

Hello ladies. I have been a lurker on the boards, but now feel compelled to post. Long story short, I have been married five years. Two kids, 3 and 8 months and things are getting worse and worse by the day. I have always bickered with H and we have had many small issues through the years. after having last LO, I have fallen into what I am now realizing is most likely PPD. This coupled with financial stress,kid stress and the stress of a workaholic husband has caused this to get out of control. There is alot of resentment on both parts and definite hurt and anger that is coming to a head. 

I have mentioned divorce over the last few years out of frustration and the hope it would be a wake up call. At this point, we have not spoken in the last month, expect about the kids and on several occasions about trying to make things work. I asked him to talk things out last night and he was just angry and resentful, badgering me and letting me know all the ways i have hurt him, as if he is an angel. I told him that I have felt like I have wanted a divorce in the past but I also feel alot of those feelings are caused by PPD. I have told him that I love him and would like to go to counseling to try to save our marraige. I feel we owe our children that much. He is basically telling me that I am the "wife that cried wolf" too many times and that he is not sure if he wants to work things out. He says he needs time.

I have been asking him for two weeks and still no straight answer. He keeps saying if you want an answer now, the answer is no. How long am I going to wait until he decides our fate? He said he feels like we are becoming more like friends and he cant say whether or not he is in love with me. His behavior is making me feel so sad. Last night he watched me crawl into a ball and cry for hours and he made no attempt to console me. He just told me he needs time and to stop pressuring him. I think that if you love someone no matter what, you try to make things work. Should not be this hard of a decision. HELP, please. What do I do and how long should I fight for someone who is not sure he wants me anymore. At what point to I just say f**k it and get a lawyer. TIA.