Link: Advocating at school

cranberry27

I read a blog written by the author of Schuyler's Monster and typically enjoy it, even though he can be inflammatory at times.  His daughter has an extremely rare brain disorder that impacts her in many ways, but particularly with speech.  He has had a long, hard fight for diagnosis and appropriate education for his daughter, and is very concerned about her transition to a new school.

Last night he posted something I found very interesting about advocating for his daughter at school.  He is talking about middle school, but I think that this could apply to the very youngest child.  He talks about the huge difference between being a "helicopter parent" and advocating for your child's needs.  

I have seen this firsthand when contracted to an EC school that I couldn't stand....they were overwhelmed and the observant, insistent parent got services for their child while others were shuffled around on the schedule and didn't receive their minutes.  There was an attitude of "this parent will notice, make sure they get what they're supposed to." (WOW, could I not wait to get out of that place!!)  A little different than the attitude that this author encounters of feeling marginalized, but along the same lines.  

After that experience, his words really resonate for me because I so clearly recall the desperation I felt at seeing kids not getting what they needed or deserved.  Short of calling up their parents and losing my job (a completely different job that had contracted me to this school and would not take me out of it) I had zero options.  The vast majority of my school experiences have been excellent, but this one showed me the underbelly.

A word of warning: the author has always been very specific about his disability language.  He is not a person-first, PC kind of guy.  His book is called Schulyer's Monster and he sees it as something victimizing his child, something much too large for her to take on that person-first responsibility.  He discusses why and how he views and talks about disability often, and I find it interesting even if I would never EVER use the terms myself (if it's not my child there's no chance in hell you'll hear me talk like that!).  Just so you are warned...

http://www.schuylersmonsterblog.com/2011/02/helicopters.html

There are so many questions I could pull from this, but I think my biggest two are

1) To what lengths do you go to advocate?  The author moved to a different district, but is still battling.  He admits that sometimes he is wrong and alienates people.

2) At what point do parents and educators need to reach a level of....not acceptance, not giving up, but a place where they start focusing more on helping the person adapt than trying to make them like everybody else?  There are a million scenarios here, but my mental examples are simple ones from personal experience.  At what point should I dismiss the 14 year old who is clearly not going to figure out an R sound after 6 years of speech?  At what point do I stop doing language activities with a 12-year-old who is functioning well in a typical classroom despite lowish skills?