This is such a roller coaster!

adoubleu12

I am still posting from the hospital.  They are keeping me for one more night because my blood work was still a little off and my BP is still spiking a bit.  My Dr. took my bandages off today, My c-section incision looks good, since I was preeclamptic, I had to have 12 real metal staples instead of the ones that dissolve or stitches, which is really weird to see, and I also have a perineal tear from the vaginal birth that hurts, kinda sucks recovering from both!! I honestly really don't care that they are making me stay one more night, because my babies aren't going to get to go home with me when I do leave.  I thought that my hormones were making me emotional when I was pregnant...Now I am just a wreck!  I go from high high on top of the world, to crying about the stupidest things!  The NICU nurse made me cry last night, because I thought I was going to get to do some Kangaroo care with Livi, and when I asked her about it she said I couldn't hold her because they were going to feed her soon and they didn't want her to be to cozy that she wouldn't eat.  I started bawling!  Also, my best friend, she was here when I was in labor, but she hasn't been here since the girls were born, and I know it's because she is busy, but she hasn't even like called me or text me and it made me really crazy last night.  I texted her and asked her if she was ignoring me.. and I was crying and my DH made me hide my phone and go to sleep.  The girls are kind of having an off day.  They were drinking their whole bottles (which isn't a full feeding yet) last night and they did so much progressing!  Today their respiratory rates are kind of up, and their oxygen levels are kind of down, and they aren't eating from a bottle.  I know they told me there would be off days like this.  It's just not fun!  I just want my babies to be healthy enough for me to hold whenever I want, and I can take home with me when I leave tomorrow! Also DH had to go back to work, he worked a half day yesterday, and is working a full day today and won't be here for another 3 hours.  It sucks!  He doesn't get any paternity leave, and he had to use 2 and a half vacation days out of the 6 he was given for the next year!  I know most of you ladies are still waiting on the arrival of your LOs , and probably don't like hearing about it much.  But you all give me the most support out of any of the boards that I write on... and I thank you for that!! Keep the T&P's coming for my little girls!!