"please and thank you" seriously?

magpiebride61210

ok maybe this belonged in UO tuesday. But here goes my own selfish post:

so I'm working in an early learning center. I work with a very mixed bag of teachers. There are several though who are all working in the 2 year old room that all have the same theory on how to speak to their classroom children.

Always a happy voice, never firm (ever), they do NOT say the word "no" and they say PLEASE and THANK YOU to the kids allllllllllll day.

Now i'm all for building kindness in our children, but this is going way too far. An example: Jimmy is playing with a toy truck. Bobby decides HE wants the truck. Bobby steals the truck from Jimmy. Jimmy cries and tries to take it back. Bobby wacks Jimmy in the face a few times with the truck because he refuses to give it back. screw you Jimmy. The reaction from the teacher goes like this "Now Bobby lets give this back to Jimmy. Please Bobby give the truck back to Jimmy". (meanwhile Bobby smacks Jimmy in the face one more time). "Now Bobby lets be nice please. Thank you Bobby! we are always nice to our friends! Thank you Bobby! lets be super nice with our friends! ok thank you!" teacher walks away, Bobby plays with the truck.

The tone in their voice was just so chipper and friendly! Nothing different from the way they would talk to Bobby when he was actually doing something well. Eventually Jimmy gives up and goes away without the truck. And Bobby I'm sure did the very same thing to another child later that day.

Is it just me, or does this drive you crazy?! What the heck is wrong with using a firm tone to your voice, and instead say something like this "Bobby... Jimmy is playing with this truck. You need to find something else to play with until Jimmy is finished. We DO NOT hit anyone, it makes them hurt. Do not let me see you hit another friend." Then you simply remove Bobby and give him something else to play with. problem solved.

this whole idea that we're not allowed to say NO to our children, or sound frustrated or upset by their incorrect behavior is doing the opposite of what these teachers think it's doing. Bobby did not learn to be kind today b/c his teachers were kind. Instead he learned he gets what he wants with no consequences with force.

compassion is learned through guilt. so lets not be so afraid to allow our children to experience what that feels like.

thank you for letting me vent. this seriously drives me crazy.