Can I vent for a minute?

cinderin

I will preface this by saying, I know I have so very much to be grateful for. DH and I are so excited to be parents, we are lucky we were able to get PG, stay PG (so far) that baby looks healthy (so far). 

But I miss my old brain and body.

I am not a crier. I am on the independent side. I am decisive.

Since becoming PG, I think I have cried more than I have in the last 10 years. I depend on DH so much more (which is fine with him - but sometimes bothers me). I have a much harder time making baby decisions (which crib? which color?) and it is frustrating for me. I am used to *thinking* and I feel like my emotions are taking over sometimes. I am 31 years old, this is my first PG. I just don't feel like "me". 

Also, the MS was super tough. My body just doesn't do what it used to. I can't get as much done as I want. We painted yesterday, and today it hurts to walk. I used to sleep all night, no problem. Now I wake up at 3 or 4 AM and can't get back to sleep, I just lay awake for an hour or so. I am so tired, I need more than 8 hours of sleep each night. I try to get it, but if I don't, I am tired. I used to get 6 hours of sleep and be fine. 

I know this is all just part of being PG and I do feel honored to get to carry a baby and be PG, but I miss *me*. I want myself back. Some of me is worried I won't ever feel normal again.