Oh my! Oh my! I am pregnant!

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My uncle died on the 26th and things were crazy family in and out taking care of my aunt, you know the basics. My Fiance and I had set a date for the wedding Oct. 27th of next year also looked at schooling options because we wanted to better ourselves for our future family and also it invest in a home to ourselves. Only two days ago (only two days till my uncles memorial)  I found out that I am pregnant. I had a panic attack and have had a couple of anxiety attacks since. I was trying to prove to myself wrong that I wasn't but....that didn't quite work out. 

When I told my fiance he didn't turn pale and need sometime to figure things out in his head like my own father had too. He just looked at me and said "Okay. I won't lie I am scared but not about anything other then being a good dad." I laughed. My cousin cracked a joke that fallowing day because I was looking over his shoulder at the baby stuff in a JcPennys magazine and my mother ended up "Killing the elephant in the room." Apparently when I called my mother in a blind panic my Aunt, Father and the other cousin of mine heard me! So now apart from my Aunt getting "I'm sorry for your loss." I was getting "Congrats.".

I am very nervous about the first doctors appt. only because I had lost a baby at 8 week when I was 15 and of course it scared me for life and probably was the reason for me to gather baby stuff and pre work out a budget. ( I am one of these better to be safe then sorry people so yes I even have some wedding things too, Haha.) My friend and her husband just lost their baby and its cause my hormones to be all over the place! 

Everything is happening so quickly and it was just the other week I was laughing and telling my fiance that "I sure hope God doesn't decide we need a 'starter pack'. You know Marriage, school and a baby.".