I packaged up my BF Pump &

November3Love

I broke down in tears. I remember how I wanted so badly to breast feed the entire time I was pregnant & when William was born, I was able to supply him with just enough to keep him satisfied. Then after a couple days-he refused to latch & suckle. I had to resort to the pump. I felt horrible about it, too. Then, after doctor's visits & supplements we realized my supply was dwindling to next to nothing. We had to resort to formula. I felt terrible. 

DH made a comment last week about maybe we should sell my pump since "We're not using it." & I almost went off on him. I finally came to terms with reality: I am not going to be able to breast feed my son. So, yesterday I packed up the pump & did so with tears in my eyes. I felt betrayed by my body & I felt like: "This is what my body was made to do... why isn't it doing it anymore!?!" I felt like I let down DH & my son, though DH says that's not the case. He said: "We tried & it just didn't work out. Maybe it will with our next one..."

So, even though I'm upset about it, DH did give me a little glimmer of hope.

No real point to this... just really wanted to get that out. Obviously, I'm still pretty bummed about it. I'll get over it... but it was just last night, so I'll recover in a bit.