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July 2012 Moms
BF to FF, upset
As I type I am pumping while my mil is feeding Liam his first formula bottle. I am upset about the whole thing because I swore he would never have formula. I am finishing my last year of school and start work again in November. I knew bfing would be hard but I didn't know it was going to be THIS hard.
I have dealt with my supply constantly dropping and dedicated the time and effort to picking it back up. This has happened four times already. The most recent was a week and a half ago when I ended up in the hospital with food poisoning and dehydration because I couldn't keep fluids in. since I was sick I missed feedings and pump sessions and now my freezer stash is almost wiped out with only 5 oz frozen. Since then I have tried power pumping, milkmaid tea, fenugreek, lactation cookies, countless ounces of water, etc. I just feel like all of this effort is wasted now and it kills me.
The problem that I have had with bfing all along is that I have always been told that is helps create a strong bond between mom and baby. Well I feel as though it has been doing the opposite. I dread when it comes time to feed him because since I started school he prefers the bottle and this makes feeding extremely difficult because he expects the flow of the bottle. I have no time to pump at home except when mil can come over to entertain Liam so my stash is constantly being pulled from but never replenished. Liam wants about 7 oz a feeding and I only pump about 4.
Fast forward to today and I am a mess. I feel like all my efforts to build my supply, even though they aren't helping, are completely wasted. I had to have my mil feed him the formula bottle because I started crying as I prepared it. This just isn't how I thought it would be and I feel hopeless. My next effort is to rent a hospital grade pump for a month and see if that has any effect but I am worried that it's a hopeless cause. Sorry this is long. If you made it through, thank you for letting me vent.
I have dealt with my supply constantly dropping and dedicated the time and effort to picking it back up. This has happened four times already. The most recent was a week and a half ago when I ended up in the hospital with food poisoning and dehydration because I couldn't keep fluids in. since I was sick I missed feedings and pump sessions and now my freezer stash is almost wiped out with only 5 oz frozen. Since then I have tried power pumping, milkmaid tea, fenugreek, lactation cookies, countless ounces of water, etc. I just feel like all of this effort is wasted now and it kills me.
The problem that I have had with bfing all along is that I have always been told that is helps create a strong bond between mom and baby. Well I feel as though it has been doing the opposite. I dread when it comes time to feed him because since I started school he prefers the bottle and this makes feeding extremely difficult because he expects the flow of the bottle. I have no time to pump at home except when mil can come over to entertain Liam so my stash is constantly being pulled from but never replenished. Liam wants about 7 oz a feeding and I only pump about 4.
Fast forward to today and I am a mess. I feel like all my efforts to build my supply, even though they aren't helping, are completely wasted. I had to have my mil feed him the formula bottle because I started crying as I prepared it. This just isn't how I thought it would be and I feel hopeless. My next effort is to rent a hospital grade pump for a month and see if that has any effect but I am worried that it's a hopeless cause. Sorry this is long. If you made it through, thank you for letting me vent.
