Update: I think I have given up...

Jaxcho

So if you remember, I made a post a while back about my first OB visit. Thought I was 8 weeks along but they saw nothing on the u/s. Took my blood friday, it was 7,483. Then on Monday it was over 9,000. Got that news today. I also started spotting today. Not alot. It is not bright red. Actually, last night I had a little brown discharge and today is just very light brownish pinkish. Used a pad all day to track how much was coming out and it is not even soaking through - like spotting after a period in a way I guess, not even my lightest day. Today is the day I would have normally started my period too.

I have read that you are suppose to double your HCGs every day, so now I have kind of resigned. I have just told myself I am going to have a miscarriage and need to deal with it. I am starting to think of how much time I am going to need to take off work, what hospital to go to etc....I have another appointment tomorrow for another ultrasound. Hoping for a miracle but right now I just feel...resigned...empty.

 Am I BAD for feeling this way? I would try to keep my head up but everything I read about slowly rising HCGs on forums has ended in miscarriage it seems. I am starting to regret educating myself on all this stuff. Almost wish I was ignorant and could just feel however my Dr. told me to feel. Have I gone crazy?